Alina Timo Will Fight Your Creepy Manager
"I'm so strong, I swear."
I first knew Alina as a TikTok messiah. Actually, I first knew her as an Instagram model, one so beautiful I wondered if she was generated by Zuck. (She’s not!) Then I knew her as the girl with the great eyeshadow. So great, I once showed a Sephora employee a photo of her, asking what she used. (The Sephora employee didn’t know. I sleuthed and found it was REM’s deliriously iridescent liquid eyeshadow.)
Anyway, Alina’s a real Vitruvian woman. Her videos land somewhere between a Rorschach test and spoken word. A transcript from her TikTok reads: “Fully cosplaying a girl who has a job again. Check it out! Per my last email, bitch. I couldn’t help but wonder, bitch. I hate you. Best, bitch.” She’s a model who says her modeling career is over (despite her face in ads for Mac to Sandy Liang to Prada.) She’s now a Youtuber and maybe a budding Substacker.
I called her to talk gross managers and makeup. La dee da
Alina: I hope I don’t get canceled.
Eloise: You probably won't. How are you? Did you go to fashion week?